i sure am

today: day 1 out of 4 of babysitting alisa. and it went well. ;)
caught mulan 2 on dvd.
then made cards during our arts and craft session.
then went ta nxt door ngee ann city for a happy meal. which btw comes with this DIY flower for mum, was a feat for me. but i tried. and tried. and tried. and clap clap, i did it. yay~!

and soon it was time to meet my lovelies: jazz bird mei at bugis. weini clnt make it. it felt so nice to finally catch up with them and not merely online or on the phone. so we did it: hung out, walk abt, talk and shop and surely, gossip! hah. but it felt really nice. really. and oh yes!!! we took a NEOPRINT....! together. after so long. bless them. :)

and then evening saw me tutoring yadhi. and it hit me. he has this similar (note: similar not same) phobia as me thats related to faiure. esp exam failure. hasnt been doing well and so i think he's feeling the pressure. but i cld sense this aura of sheer frustration with yourself for seemingly fail in smthg that you regard as trivial. and i cld totally relate to that. and so, our session was done, he sat there, crying, for himself at himself. and all i could do was to just be there. and that was what i offered. and this is the thing that struck me most, what made the difference btwn me and him was that someone was always there for me. whenever i needed, there was always someone. alhamdullilah. but unfortunately, no one, well, except this someone typing all this, who knows this self esteem-deficient niche of him. well maybe it is known, just that pple arent doin anything or putting their effort to ease the situation. all i could do was watch him. cry. and when he finally spoke, he asked for the one thing i cld offer him there and them. water. (i always hv water with me b4 i sit to tutor) and suddenly i felt immense relief and glad. i wld hv hugged that shaky cousin of mine but i knew he didnt want that more than water to clean his face. but hey, im doin all that i can. to help him. insyaallah.

cant change the whole wide world but i sure will try changing a small person's world.

so there. im happy. blessed and happy and dizzy