mum & i had a major tiff yesterday
of rather colossal proportions

such that i cried pretty bad
and got worst when babyboo's on the phone with me

she'd taken away one of the things i CANT live without
no, not him, although that too has been contested before

she refused to tell me WHY she wouldnt allow me go to the beach
anymore

unkind exchange of words
rude stand offs
nasty jeling-s

that's the thing with us
dont want ANYTHING to do with the other party
especially when we're fuming mad with them

so i went to bed somehow
with a super stuffed nose
and kleenex -clean, and not so clean- all over my bed

woke up
groggy and turtle-eyed

funny thing was when she opened up
asking stuff, reminding stuff, actually TALKING to me

so i began my run
in unco-ordinated confusion

silently hating her for taking it out on me
yet soften by her 'i-give-in-by-talking-to-you-first' move

and then the msg came before i shower
as she left for work with abah & cik pitt

"im sorry i was harsh on you.. the reason i hate u goin to swim at e beach ibu takot u drown naudzubillah but i did not say it n when i read yest newspapr abt some1 drown i got phobia tatz all. so i hope u understand. n i only got u here with yana away. itz hard to be a mum. subhanallah."

turtle-eyed started pouring again

Lord, give us strength
and be with me as i set my journey to see my sister later