the rest of today went ABSOLUTELY well

i cant begin to think how thankful i was

of all the realisations
count your blessings before all's gone

allow
me
to
elaborate

as you may or may have been aware of,
i applied for a diploma in special needs
offered by a local institute of tertiary education

and as you may or may not have been aware of,
i have an unfathomable LUCK with LOCAL institutes

a thing i've been taking in apparent good stride, actually

my application was
... ladida,whatdyathink?
unsuccessful

mum wasnt entirely happy
'there goes (your input for) my car'
-> yup, her exact words

dad had his comments
which if i'd share here on the online platform
im positively sure it'll be some defamation litigation

and im not stupid

so there i was left
absolutely feeling indifferent
shrugged it off-kinda thing

today's counselling class: entirely OPENED me
i cant even begin to share how..

all that happened was
'net, i so can see you being a counsellor'

and then came the sharing of the facilitation
experiential learning cycle
NLP, the absorbent mind.. all that

what's to note was
me totally feeling that 'im home' feeling
as i shared it

everything just falls into place
everything finally made sense

so i guess what i'd like to share now
... is that

God really gives what we need
not necessarily what we want
_

going onto another point on
how thankful i am today

i have been asked so many times
what about him that i love about

yet another sudden realisation
that lightning-ish thing when his call came
as i made my way home & he got ready for bed

im afraid i cant tell you
what exactly it is

but i can try telling you what it's NOT

it's not the material stuff he may/not lavish me with
it's not the lack of/constant physical presence

it's not the rightest things he says to me
it's not that imagined whiff of his scent

im afraid i cant tell you
what exactly it is

but i can tell you that

it's that one message he sent me to start my days
it's that one final voice he lends me to end my days

it's that priceless supporting trust every night
it's that unwavering belief



and for ALL of that

my day, my life, my love, my joy
my tears, my fears, my anxiety

alhamdullillah